Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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