New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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