I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
COCAINE IS GR8
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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