his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
