She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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