this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
