just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
