you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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