I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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