I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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