I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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