So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
