He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I want her autograph on my taint
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
