Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
