God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
