; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
