didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
are you so shy because you have an std?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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