it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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