On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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