We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
