I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
