ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
