help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
