Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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