Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
