How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
