i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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