thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
