Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
