and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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