I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
