Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize