I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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