We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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