I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That was before I lit my hair on fire
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
