You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
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He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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