Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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