Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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