I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
