It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
