in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize