There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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