ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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