So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
