im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
