So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
