I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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