Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
