I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize