today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
