Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
