How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
