Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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