i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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