I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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