watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
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