ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
