I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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