We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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