just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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